Here I am again with another long break of not posting anything. No excess this time, other than I just didn’t make time. That’s been a common thing in life lately. Not making time for yourself. (I apologize now that this post may be all over the place 🙂 )
I always say to myself, I always have tomorrow. Only I never stick to my word. I will keep telling myself I always have tomorrow, and then never do what I had planned. I have done this for so many years that I now get down on myself when I don’t finish something. It has sent me into depression, and anxiety. So much so that I have cut a lot out of my life… meaning that I just prefer to sit at home and dwel on the tasks I didn’t finish.
I found that I would no longer want to go out, or even simple task as cleaning the house were extremely hard for me. Not for the fact that I didn’t want to do it, but because I knew if I didn’t get it done it would cause so much anxiety that I just didn’t want to do it. Let go back to the leaving the house part. I dreaded going to public places. Having to interact with people gave me such anxiety that I just didn’t do it unless I really had too. Which made going to work extremely hard. (Working is another post I will get into later)
I wasn’t taking care of myself anymore. My diet sucked, and my appreance went downhill. I went from loving to do my hair/make up to not caring anymore what I looked like. It also effected my marriage. I was just not a fun person to be around. I am proud to say that I have made a great start to turning myself around. I will be blogging more about what has been helping me in future. I’m still taking things 1 day at a time, and things still set me off.. but I’m slowing learning ways to help myself and I want to share them with you.